We have had a very difficult marriage, and I am amazed we are still here.
We were thrown into marriage through lust and a pregnancy. I was 29 and my husband 23.There was no proposal just a wedding to plan to right our wrong doing. I was already a single mum and was hoping that I would be rescued by my prince and live happily ever after.
Oh my gosh, I soon discovered that was not going to be the case at all as I soon realized my prince and I were two very dysfunctional human beings trying to become one. I decided after just over 12 months I did not want to be married anymore. I knew we had made a mistake yet I did not want to go back to being a single Mum with two kids and I also wanted to comitt to the vows we took and stand on my convictions, but my feelings and faith were totally disconnected.
But God intervened in an amazing way and I was determined to do what it takes and honour God and my husband and make our marriage work.
It was hard work, for both of us and we lived in conflict constantly, we did not know how to fight well but thank God we always had good sex!! We just kept walking.
Two years ago, we hit a very bad place. My husband told me how unhappy he was and he didnt know if he could continue another 20 years of wedded agony.
I was devastated, and did not know what to do. All things i had taken for granted, every neagtive word I had spoken, there was so much I was sorry for because the very thing that I had place little value upon was being threatend greatly and my world all of a sudden was in a complete mess.
I really struggled and did not handle my husbands news well.Finally after tears, repentance, crying out to God, medication and self sacrifice, I surrendered all and let go.
I had nothing left. The battle I was in was beyond me and only God could it.
In letting go I found a freedom that was indescribable. Slowly my husband and I found ourselves in more peaceful envoronment. There was less conflict, there was a grace for us to endure this difficult season so we could rebuild our foundation.
We are two very different people now, the way we speak and act toward each other is astounding. We pushed through and we look forward to writing our future togther and walking in our God given purpose.
God is so good!

Thank you for sharing your story. I think sometimes we try so hard (and fight hard) and we do what we think is right for the other person, or for the 'couple' and forget ourselves in the process. God is good and when we 'let go and let God' take over amazing things can happen. You let go because you thought there was nothing else you could do and that's the key. There wasn't, but God could do plenty once He was allowed to do so. Bless you.

Hi janie
What an amazing story and such a tough journey. Often things are not as we expect but I also think that very few people have the perfect marriage. most of us have had bumps along the way. I have two daughters and so want them to marry their prince charmings but i don't actually believe they exist. we are all individuals with issues at various levels and I think they become more obvious in marriage.
I can't imagine getting thru something like you have just described with out a sense of faith.

when you mentioned that your husband actually decided he didn't want the marriage after 20 years I thot how ironic...you where the one who initially where unhappy and yet battled thru. that must have been so difficult and you must have felt somewhat angry. I applaud you for letting go and letting God...you certainly needed some help...good on you for not letting go

What a tremendous story!
I feel really honoured and privilaged that you shared it with us. I think that we all can be guilty of entering marriage with certain expectations. I know that it took a while to move my thinking from "my needs" to "her needs". It was in this process that I discovered a new and far deeper aspect of love.

Actually it isn't important to know where the lover/spouse is at all times...it is kind of a bother actually. there has to be an element of trust and mutual respect or the relationship won't work. if someone has to know where the other is at all times then something is terribly wrong with that person. red flag city.
i trust my wife, i know some of what her schedule is, but i certainly don't know where she is all the time if she isn't at home, if the weather is rough sometimes i worry and call her to see if she is o.k. but i wouldn't be married to her if i couldn't honestly trust her, and when the weather is nice i just assume she's out at the lake soaking up sun and when she wants me to bring the marshmalows and hotdogs she'll call.