[img] [img] do you ever feel that you have nowhere to go and no one to talk to...worse still the person that you may have is so preoccupied by all their own worries and cares?

How cool is it when you make a real connection with someone and they are on the same page right away ...if you have ever experienced this let me know....I would love to hear about your friends and the things that make you love them...Christie

A few years ago I was going through a really, really tough time. In the end my wife called a church minister to come around....which was a great thought. I asked him, "Are you here because you feel guilty about not coming before or are you here because you really care? I then said, I guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks." He never came around again....so I had my answer.

I must admit it that I was pretty blunt....I didn't have the time nor the inclination to make him feel better about coming around.

Contrast this with a friend of mine....
He heard that I was struggling and was there in 2 mins. He didn't try to solve my problems but was just there. He took me out to the movies and made sure that I was AOK every second day. What can I say....a true friend!

Real connection is a rare thing. I remember hearing a phrase "fair weather friends" these are the sort of people who are always around when things are going well, however seldom found when you are in trouble or in need.

For me I have to say that for real connection you have to make an investment. I have a couple of really close friends who are there for me in down times but are never to busy to celebrate my successes either. To keep these friendships we put in sincere effort, not just a monthly token phone call. We are real with eachother and that includes when we have offended or hurt each other in anyway. The investment is definitely worth it, a true friend is worth all the money in the world......well to me anyway.

My husband is my closest best friend. I know lots of women and probably one of those closest to me is a long-term client of mine - we've been working together (virtually but occasionally face-to-face) for over 11 years. Only in the past 12 months has she shared things with me I never knew about her, and I've done the same. but there are still things we see very differently - my beliefs for example, although she asks lots of questions now which she never did before. Perhaps that's a sign of feeling comfortable with me

I've always been pretty much a loner and haven't had any close female friends since I left high school - that was a long time ago!

christieb i have been really blessed with many friends, but there are a couple that are extra special that I would consider in my inner circle, who know alot about me. Recently the nature of my relationship with one of my closest friends has started to change, and I feel like it's only me giving in the friendship. Would you be patient, accept the friendship is shifting or should I make 'extra' effort to show I'm there? Love to hear what you think?

I'd be patient.
You never know what is happening in their life....there could be a lot of things going on that you aren't aware of. I'd sit down with your friend over a cup of coffee and try to find out how she is going rather than start with how your feeling. Once you know how your friend is travelling you may adjust the view of your own world.